Have all your kids together, they say. Get it all over and done with at the same time. Let them beat each other up for a few years, but they’ll have someone to play with and it will all end nicely. You’ll have your life back quicker!
Have a big age gap, they say. Give all your attention to one child, and then the other with no long term resentment and no squabbles, but they won’t be friends, or play together. You’ll unnecessarily drag out your parenting years.
Oh, and theres the ‘only child’- the spoilt ones! The ones that will be left with all the pressure of their parents growing old, and won’t have siblings to lean on for support.
Seriously, how are we supposed to get this right?
Whatever you chose to do! Its great! Because its your choice. I have a big age gap. A 7 year age gap. When Isla is 7, Olivia will be 14, so no… they won’t be playing mums and dads together. Its purely dependant on their personalities, on how they develop as sisters. Olivia is extremely maternal towards Isla. She loves being involved with all of Islas care, and shows her off to all of her friends, all of the time. Of course she refers to Isla as ”being annoying sometimes”. I completely agree. It is annoying when your trying to watch TV and you have a baby in the background crying. Its annoying when your mum asks you to, ”Go and get a nappy please, QUICK, its exploding!” On the flip side of this, Isla does not take her eyes off of her sister. If Olivia is around, Isla is either staring at her, or waiting for her to pop up. Isla loves waiting for hours at the dance studio, or outside of school for her sister- thats probably quite annoying too.
I am very happy with my gap! Every parent should be happy with their gap too, whether its a year, or 15 years. Siblings are siblings. Don’t worry about having too much to handle, you’ll get over that, and them years will fly by. Don’t worry about them not having anything in common, the fact that they are related should be enough common ground. And if you only have the one, then enjoy! Don’t give in to the pressure of ‘needing’ to have more, especially if its not the right option for your family. Your child will share, and won’t be spoilt!
On that note, I would like to share a photo of Olivia (aged 7) and Isla (aged 12 weeks) playing schools! Isla got given the role of ‘Teaching Assistant”!